When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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