Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
