woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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