Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
