Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
