Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize