No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
BRING THE BAGELS
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
