drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
