I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Still dying that you shit outside
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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