and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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