Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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