i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
