I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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