College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
