I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Found your dick twin last night
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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