i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
be right there i have to get my cape
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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