Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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