whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
