I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
