so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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