Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
