May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
