yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
