At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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