worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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