6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Barsexuality is the new black.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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