Already got asked if we're dating
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
