So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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