By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
