I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
