I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Girls should come with a carfax report
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
