Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I FOUND THE LEGS
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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