And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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