note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
