She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
