I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
