While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
