thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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