Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
