Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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