Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Drunk is not a location!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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