This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I bet he comes in French.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
