Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
