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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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