in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
