come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
