Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
