she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
