I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Naked Twister starts at high noon
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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