you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
