if i died would you start the facebook group?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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