my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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