I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
