Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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