Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I've blown a few things in my day
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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