I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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