you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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