what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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