youre lurking in front of me
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
