You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
