sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
