Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
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