I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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