So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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