Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
