Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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