I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
