Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
