How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
