if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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