I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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