If that was your dad, he is hot
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
