Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize