What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
