I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
do nipples grow back?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
