I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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