Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize